Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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