did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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