He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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