Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
