Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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