Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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