wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I AM VODKA MAN
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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