i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
