I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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