i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
