last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
