Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
