There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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