Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
