My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
