Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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