quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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