come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
you never un-have a 4some
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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