i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
