I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
