Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
