yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
