Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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