Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Holy shit dude........stairs
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize