well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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