i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
