I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
