Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
