Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
