The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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