the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
