And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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