dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize