5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Life is so much better after having sex.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
