batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I could make wine with my vomit
vagina is talking i cant
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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