He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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