i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
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We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
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It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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