I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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