we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
