So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
