When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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