I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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