I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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