It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
