My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
