i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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