Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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