dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
