whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
