what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
this will be a night to untag.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
you inspire me to be a worse person
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
