Will you blow on my dice?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize