Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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