Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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