HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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