Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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