I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
