somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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