I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
