yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
