I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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