Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
