all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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