This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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