Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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