she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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